I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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