Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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