some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
