i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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