whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
