I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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