Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
