you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
