i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize