So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
