Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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