addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
