This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
