Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
