Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
