According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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