Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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