so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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