sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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