Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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