i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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