Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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