Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I intend to get homeless drunk
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
