I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
