that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
