when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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