I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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