Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
