hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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