Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Pooping to opera.
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