Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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