At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
