i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
