Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
