I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize