i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
