And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
