I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
