I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
