eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
