I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
