K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
