Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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