So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
