But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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