You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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