sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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