and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize