i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize