forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
