How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Who did Billy Mays play for?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
