White coat. Heels.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
