chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
