the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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