is your mom at the bar?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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