I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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