So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
