Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
