never play flip cup with pint glasses
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
