Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
