Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
