yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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