I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize