my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
