What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
