Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Im part way to drunk.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
