it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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