So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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