I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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