just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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