Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
