eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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