i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
