forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
