The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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