there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
